How to Model Civility for a Better Workplace Culture

Political discord is fueling incivility in the U.S.—and a lack of leadership may be making the situation worse. More than 4 in 5 U.S. workers (81%) report witnessing or experiencing poor treatment in daily life due to differences in political opinions, according to an August SHRM survey.

Workers say U.S. leaders are setting a bad example, with 86% saying much of the incivility seen today is caused by leaders’ behaviors and 92% saying the country’s leaders must do a better job of modeling civil behavior. But politicians aren’t the only ones who can use their behavior to influence the level of civility.

As a business leader, you wield considerable influence within your organization. When you model civility, you can set the expectation of open, productive dialogue in the workplace, even during difficult conversations. By setting an example for what civility looks like in action, you can improve the culture of your organization and create lasting business benefits, including greater productivity and staff retention. Employees at organizations with equitable leadership practices, a set of behaviors that includes appreciating employees’ perspectives, are 19 times more likely to rate the organization’s culture as good or excellent.

At its core, civility is about treating others with respect and kindness, even in challenging situations. Civility goes beyond the simple politeness of refraining from personal attacks or disrespectful behavior. It involves listening actively and acknowledging diverse perspectives so that others feel fully heard. By modeling these behaviors, you can set standards for everyone else to follow, and even increase your standing within the organization as you develop a reputation for consensus building among your fellow leaders.

Benefits of a Civil Workplace Culture

A civil workplace culture yields numerous organizational advantages that are difficult to obtain any other way. It’s important for business leaders to understand the benefits of a civil workplace culture, but it’s also important to make sure other leaders understand them as well, to underline the importance of modeling civil behavior and increase leadership buy-in for civility initiatives.

According to recent SHRM studies, some of the benefits of promoting workplace civility include:

• Workers who rate their workplace as uncivil are three times more likely to say they are dissatisfied with their jobs and twice as likely to say they will leave their jobs over the next 12 months.
• Acts of incivility can result in an average productivity loss of 31 minutes per incident.
• Between lost productivity and absenteeism, incivility costs U.S. businesses more than $2 billion a day.

·       76% of employees who believe their workplace is civil say they have a sense of belonging at work, while just 43% of employees who believe their workplace is uncivil say the same.

·       Workers who experienced or witnessed incivility within the past week are less likely to believe they can share their honest thoughts without fear at work (56% versus 72%), which can impede collaboration.

Given that U.S. workers collectively experience more than 201 million acts of incivility every day, a civil culture can be a powerful competitive edge that makes your organization more productive and more attractive to top talent.

What Does Workplace Civility Look Like?

Civility in the workplace requires fostering an environment of mutual respect and professionalism, where diverse perspectives are not only accepted but encouraged. It involves maintaining an environment where individuals feel their opinions are valued and open dialogue is encouraged.

It can be important to proactively set boundaries around acceptable workplace behavior so that everyone understands the expectations. But remember that your policies aimed at preventing incivility should be narrowly tailored and advance a legitimate and substantial business need, without cooling any Sections 7 and 8(a)(1) rights under the National Labor Relations Act to organize and engage in protected, concerted activities regarding the terms and conditions of employment.

Instead of attempting to eliminate disruptive behavior through organizational policies, it’s often more effective to focus on encouraging positive approaches. Promoting civility runs into fewer regulatory hurdles than discouraging incivility and has the benefit of making employees feel included and trusted to have mature conversations, rather than patronized by restrictive codes of conduct.

The good news is leaders don’t need to develop this dynamic on their own. When employees are asked to share their ideas about the characteristics of civil behavior in the workplace, it creates an open-ended dialogue that employees can buy in to because they feel their voices are being heard. A free, web-based tool from SHRM and Rising Team can help you run a 30-to-60-minute team activity designed to foster this dialogue.

Be Willing to Have Challenging Discussions

Modeling civility does not mean avoiding difficult conversations or disagreements. Avoiding emotionally charged topics, such as politics, in the workplace is ineffective and only deprives workers of healthy models for handling sensitive discussions. Instead, civility requires approaching challenging conversations with empathy and intending to find common ground rather than engaging in divisive behavior.

How leaders approach sensitive topics and areas of disagreement tells employees a great deal about their organization’s culture. When leaders are willing to engage in civil discussion about contentious topics, they send the signal that it’s normal and healthy to have disagreements and set the expectation that these conversations should avoid becoming disruptive.

“You don’t always have to change the other person’s mind, but you do need to make a good-faith effort to make them feel heard and valued. Engage in empathetic and active listening. This keeps conversations from escalating, helps employees understand the expectations for their own behavior, and encourages them to be better listeners in all their workplace discussions,” advises SHRM CHRO Jim Link, SHRM-SCP.

Model Civility as a Leader

Modeling civility can be challenging because it requires holistic commitment. During an challenging conversation, leaders need to be fully engaged and aware of the messages they’re sending.

Essential elements of modeling civility as a leader include:

Open body language: Civil behavior begins before a word is said. Leaders can use nonverbal cues to convey respect and openness, putting those around them at ease. Appropriate greetings, open body posture, and other gestures can demonstrate a commitment to open dialogue.

Active listening: When leaders practice active listening, they prevent conversations from escalating and help both parties feel their point of view is being heard. Conversely, leaders who dominate conversations or dismiss employee feedback create a culture where individuals feel undervalued and ignored. Ask clarifying questions, encourage others to elaborate on their ideas, and keep the dialogue open-ended. Remember that the goal is to make the other person feel that their opinion has been heard, rather than convincing them to adopt your outlook.

Emotional regulation: Maintaining emotional self-awareness is paramount when modeling civility. This involves recognizing and managing your emotional triggers appropriately in challenging situations. Avoid speaking in anger or making the disagreement personal. By remaining calm and respectful, even under pressure, you create an environment of trust and safety for employees to express themselves openly. If a conversation becomes emotional, don’t be afraid to take a break to cool off and then re-engage with a new focus that looks to build common ground.

Show Civility to Fellow Leaders

Your commitment to modeling civility should extend to working with fellow leaders as well. Showing civility to peers can present different challenges than working with those you have authority over, but the rewards can be equally rich. Leadership teams often include multiple strong personalities, and being able to collaborate effectively, even during a disagreement, is often essential to advancing your priorities. By embodying respect and open communication, you can keep everyone focused on common goals while recognizing each person's unique contributions.

A civil approach to leadership can make you more influential, as persuading fellow leaders often hinges on a deep understanding of your audience, achieved through active listening and respect for their guiding principles. Understanding the goals, priorities, and challenges of other leaders lays the foundation for a collaborative partnership. This approach validates the importance of their contribution and dispels the notion that one leader's personal agenda always takes precedence.

Conflict can be an opportunity to not only model civility for fellow leaders but to foster collaboration and improve your working relationship in the long run. Approach disagreements from a standpoint of curiosity and cooperation, not contempt, keeping the lines of communication open and proactively seeking resolution. Using "I” statements such as “I feel frustrated by the lack of progress” rather than assigning blame can help you assess problems objectively and ensure you and your fellow leaders are focused on solving problems, not attacking one another. By distinguishing between personal opinion and professional responsibility, leaders can foster an environment where constructive problem-solving thrives.

Keep the Conversation Going

Election years are often times of heightened political discord in the workplace. But they can also be teachable moments for organizations to encourage good habits that improve communication and collaboration. Make the most of this time to examine your organization’s culture and identify ways you can strengthen it through your own influence.

Promoting civil discussions in the workplace begins with leaders—but it doesn’t end there. Organizations need dedicated resources to foster better conversations and enhance their culture of civility. SHRM’s Civility Starter Kit offers additional data and tools organizations can use to continue to enhance civility in the workplace.